We started shooting The Lovers on a Wednesday night in early June.

That morning, I drove over to my best friend Mamie’s house and picked her up as we embarked on one of the strangest road trips ever. We didn’t know these people, and at the very least we didn’t know them well, but were prepared to spend the next five days with them.

I asked Parker a couple months before if I could bring a friend on my journey to film. I wasn’t completely comfortable traveling across the state alone, and thought it might be more friend to have a close friend with me. My talented pal Mamie also happens to be an artist, and really damn good at doing makeup, so he enlisted her to do my makeup for the film, as well as Alek’s.

I was so glad that Parker was enthusiastic about me my bringing Mamie, and it allowed for us to have a great time bonding and sharing a weird, yet amazing experience. She was also the only person who knew that I was starting to have a crush on Parker, and because of that, did all the BFF-things like observing our behavior (or namely, his behavior) and reporting back to me on if she thought he felt the same way.

When we got to the Eisen household (Parker’s parents house in Canadian Lakes, Michigan was where we were filming the movie), I was exhilarated and overwhelmed. I didn’t really know what to expect. We had done a test shoot a couple of weeks prior, so I had been at the house before (for a day) and it went mostly well. But all the members of 640 weren’t there, and they certainly weren’t all in their element yet. But this time, things were different.

Mamie and I were the last to arrive, and got a nice round of welcomes and introductions from various members of the 640 crew. I unpacked my things and started going over my lines. Parker insisted I eat something, and I think he made me a ham and cheese sandwich. Note: I don’t particularly like ham and cheese sandwiches, but I am a people pleaser and a bit of a baby, and so I didn’t tell him the lunch meats/cheeses I liked prior to filming as to not be a ‘problem’. If you’re wondering where that got me, it got me to be quite hungry most days on set.

It was afternoon-time when we arrived (I think), but we didn’t start filming until around 8PM or 9PM. Setting up to shoot a scene takes a LONG time, and requires incredible amounts of precision and attention to detail. I was nervous and trying to do my best to 1) Stay out of the way and 2) Do a good job when I had to open my mouth and say the lines and do the things.

A fun fact about The Lovers, is that it is a movie about two people in a relationship. Which means that the first scene we shot that day was one in which Alek (who plays Jon) and I (Louise, obviously) have to kiss a little bit. Parker was very professional and made everyone except his cinematographer Brennan leave the room for this, but I would be lying if I said looking back on this (and our feelings) that it wasn’t awkward to be directed on how to kiss someone else by the guy you have a crush on. It’s actually very awkward. But I played it very cool and chill, or at least I think I did.

We filmed that night until 3 in the morning. I was good until I wasn’t. The tarot cards I was supposed to shuffle were too big for my tiny hands, thus I could never get a grip on them. This not only frustrated me, but also Parker (and probably everyone else), because we then had to rework how we were going to block the scene. When you eventually watch the film, you’ll notice I do not traditionally shuffle the cards. I lay them out and organize them in my own witchy way, which I think is ultimately more true to the character of Louise. And I’m not just saying that because my tiny hands failed me.

Another problem I ran into was lighting a candle using matches. I am an anxious person, and the second I would light the match, my hand would begin to shake uncontrollably. I didn’t have it down to a science, so I was fighting for my life (trying not to catch on fire) with each match. Now that I am seasoned and practiced, I am happy to report that I can strike a mach effortlessly without the risk of hurting myself or others. Practice makes perfect, baby.

After that first night and the issues we ran into (technical difficulties played a role), I was excited and nervous for the next day on set. This next day will be referred to as “The Day Emily Learned How To Smoke”.

If it sounds like I’m not good at a lot of simple things (i.e striking matches, shuffling cards, smoking cigarettes), it’s true! I’m not! There are many things I’d consider myself good at, some of them incredibly complicated, but doing something new in front of strangers is not one of them. Prior to the filming of The Lovers, I had never smoked anything. Purely personal preference and the fact that I am not offered a lot of things to smoke. But one of the scenes in the movie (one that actually got cut funnily enough) involved me and Alek smoking a “joint” (it was an herbal cigarette). In order to do so convincingly, I had to practice.

While the 640 crew set up the shot upstairs, I spent my time downstairs learning how to look cool while smoking a fake cigarette. Mamie, who also did not have a lot of smoking experience, looked very cool girl chic as she attempted to learn with me. I, however, looked like I was scared of the cigarette (I was). Parker’s mom, my soon-to-be mother-in-law, giggled and coached me through. When all was said and done, I did a damn good job! And you’ll never get to see it — because that scene was cut! Sorry!

The next (and maybe the most important) day on set was the one in which I (Louise) sings and plays it on guitar. A fun fact about me is that I learned how to play the guitar (kinda) during the pandemic. I bought myself a guitar and wrote some songs and did it as a hobby. But when Parker and I were discussing the character we came to the conclusion that she would be a songwriter. And, being the go-getter I am, was very enthusiastic about the fact that I would be willing to sing and play guitar in the movie. On camera. In front of people. Hahaha.

Now the time comes to film this scene and I am regretting every decision I have made ever. Not only because I have to sing in front of strangers, but also because the song in question is one that I wrote two years prior. From my personal journal. That no one was supposed to see or hear maybe ever. But I offered the song up because we didn’t have anything else and Parker liked it. And I am a people-pleaser who likes when people like things, dammit!

The good news is: Louise is supposed to be nervous and out-of-practice. Now, I wasn’t out-of-practice per se, but I was certainly not experienced, especially performing in front of others. So any mess-ups or out of key moments were totally okay. Pressure’s off, right? WRONG! I was still scared. Like, out of my mind. But when Parker said “Action!”, I took a deep breath, lit the candles in the scene (with a shaky hand), and sat down on the bed to play my song…

And no words came out of my mouth. None! Zero! Zilch! It was weird, but I went with it. I hummed. I played the chords but my voice was stuck in my throat. And I’ll be damned. It worked for that take. Parker, the sweetheart that he is, kindly took me aside afterward and asked if maybe, just maybe for the next one I could sing a little louder. Got it.

Having gotten an extremely embarrassing moment out of the way, I tried again, this time singing with more of my (Louise’s) voice. It was shaky and uncomfortable, just as she would be. I hit some notes, lost some others. And it was perfect for the character, and for me, who had never done this specific thing before. I told myself, as I did that second take, to find something to steady me through the scene and the song.

Later, after he called “Cut!”, Zoe, another member of 640, came over to me and praised my performance (Thanks, Zoe!). She said I looked so calm. She asked what/who I was looking at as I sang.

I chose Parker to steady me.

And he did. I don’t even think he knew it.

That was a special day. And perhaps the first one where I realized that Parker was truly a calming presence to me. He made things better. He made me trust myself. He is a good director. But he is a better person. And I’m lucky to get to do life with him.

There’s still a few more days of shooting and falling deeply in love to cover — so stay tuned.

Thanks for reading my great love story, and stream The Lovers very soon.

Talk later,

Emily